Saving You
by Crysania
Summary: It isn't supposed to end this way. it's supposed to end with her death. Or his. Written as part of the Reylo Fanfic Recs "Rewrite the Stars Fest" for the prompt "Why did you stop me?" "I saved you, dummy."


The clash of lightsabers is not a sound that she's ever thought that would be something she'd become familiar with. But the buzzing of her lightsaber and the unstable crackling of _his_ …they're sounds she lives by now.

It's not that she's trained. Hardly, really. Luke gave her a handful of lessons and then became one with the Force while they escaped from the First Order. Ben… _Kylo_ …whatever he wants to call himself these days ( _Supreme Leader_ comes to mind but she bats that one away; she's never had a sense that _that_ is what he really wants)…he attempts to teach her. Still. Though she can feel the anger behind every one of his attempts at connection.

It's why she blocks him out as best she can.

But she can't completely. And sometimes he still appears to her. She turns her back and once grabbed at the broken pieces of her lightsaber in an attempt to put some distance between them. He sneered at her, but there was something behind that look. Not anger, exactly. Not hate, certainly. But…despair. And that pierces her in ways she'd really rather not think about.

And so she practices, replays their one fight in her mind as best she can. She's almost sure _he_ allows her to see his fighting, waking up in the middle of the night from dreams where she's watching him fighting sparring droids. Shirtless. Always shirtless, which is why she's not quite sure if it's just her dreams or if he's sending her these images.

It's not like he's not in her mind half the time. Not like he doesn't know her thoughts before she can articulate the damned things. And despite how a mere brush of their fingertips together made his pupils blow wide and brought a slight blush to his cheeks, he seems to _know_ that she really did appreciate his form.

 _Do you have a cowl or something_ …it was really more that he was so _distracting_. She's seen men before. Half naked, sometimes completely naked. Scavengers don't often care about who they strip off in front of to bathe in the few tubs they can find at the Niima outpost. And so she's certainly studied the male form in all its interesting facets. But they had been skinny, dirty and ratty men she preferred to stay far away from.

But Kylo Ren?

Well, some things she prefers _not_ to think about too much.

No, she's sure he must be sending her those images.

Sometimes in her dreams she spars with him. And so when they meet again on the battlefield, it's as equals. She has the distinct sense he _likes_ it that way. He comes to her with a half smirk on his face. He's not injured this time, no bowcaster wound to dog his steps, slow him down.

They're both in top form. And she shouts as she attacks him with a ferocity that no one has ever seen from her. The fighting stops around them. She watches Kylo Ren hold up a hand and the Stormtroopers simply freeze. She's not sure if he's just used the Force to stop them in their tracks or if they simply know to not interfere with their Supreme Leader.

"Impressive," she shouts over the sound of their lightsabers clashing.

"Of course it is," he responds with, pushing her back. She ducks down and he's overbalanced, goes forward and she skirts underneath him. She has a chance then, strike him down from behind. But instead she whirls, kicking him in the backside with a small laugh.

He lets out a grunt and turns on her. He fights not with anger, not with rage, but with complete calm. Twirling his lightsaber and advancing on her still with that small smile on his face.

"You're enjoying this," she accuses him of.

"Like a cat playing with a mouse." He strikes at her and she parries, spins. He's all strength and long arms. But she has something on him. She's nimble and quick and he cannot easily follow those movements, not with his long reach and broad body.

"And just who's the cat?" This time it's _her_ that smirks. "And _who_ is the mouse?" She rushes at him, ducks under the wild swing he makes at her and just barely grazes his side.

"Maybe you're not a _mouse_." There's a hiss of pain in his voice. "Maybe you're just a Jakku rat, scavenger."

"I'm far beyond such insults, _Supreme Leader_." She bows in front of him and parries the attempted swing he takes at her. Twirling around him she comes in close, lets him parry her blade as she leans in near him. They're close, almost too close. She could lean forward and kiss him and she's not even sure why _that_ comes to mind. "Besides, I understand you're nothing more than a common housecat playing at being a panther."

He comes at her with a roar and she laughs as she dances away from him. It's so _easy_ to rile him up. She well remembers delving into his mind and realizing he wanted to be like Darth Vader, only later finding out his true relation to the Sith Lord. He takes this better than the previous one, not horrified at what she's said, and he doesn't run off. But still, anger shoots through him and she realizes she's _got_ him now.

A vicious swing on her part cuts just slightly into his shoulder and he spins away from the pain before rushing at her. His arm is around her waist before she can stop him, his face close, _too_ close. "Is this your idea of foreplay?" he whispers into her ear.

She laughs. "What would _you_ know of foreplay?"

He pushes her away and she's amused to see the pink tinge to his cheeks. There's a rush of _shame_ through their force bond and with a wave of his hand, the Stormtroopers are freed and he's stalking off. "Retreat," he shouts at them.

"Sir?"

"I said _retreat_." The nearest one reaches up for his neck but Rey is thankful to see that over in a mere second as they all scrabble to follow their leader back to where they came from.

Then there are hands touching her and turning her around. She keeps her eyes on Kylo Ren as he retreats.

"What was that about?" Finn asks and she pushes away from him.

"I hit a sore spot," she realizes.

"He left the battle and took everyone with him because you hit a _sore spot_? Just what was he so touchy about?"

Rey looks helplessly around her for a moment, eyes finally meeting Poe's. He's smirking. He knows. He heard the exchange and he knows exactly what small bit of information Kylo Ren just revealed. Not that it was something anyone could use _against_ him. Well, no one but _her_. Not that she even wants to bring it up again. That was…awkward…to say the least.

"Come on, Finn," Poe says, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'll explain later."

* * *

 _You fought well_.

His voice comes into her mind moments before he appears in her quarters. She lets him this time, allowing the bond to flow through and around her.

"But dirty," he adds and this time she can hear his voice.

"It's not like I could know," she shoots back and is gratified to watch him turn away from her. He can't quite meet her eyes.

"We'll meet again."

"I'm sure of it." She almost wants to take her lightsaber in hand but he's not actually _there_. There's no point in the extra effort. She did once attempt to shoot him with a blaster, but while it shocked him, it did nothing except blow up the wall of the hut she was sitting in.

"You'll kill me when the time comes." His voice is soft. There's a sort of steely resolve there. As if not only does he expect it, but that he _accepts_ it.

"It that really our fate?" she says after a time.

"What else could it be?" He's gone with those words, the bond fizzling out. She can still _feel_ him, like a phantom limb that was just removed, muted somehow and yet there were still emotions there. Running a little bit wild as they faded slowly away.

* * *

They do meet again. Of course they do, clashing lightsabers and sometimes dark uses of the Force on _both_ sides. They meet on a planet the First Order has attempted to take over and there's worries from the Resistance that the size is _just right_ for another Starkiller. They're there to protect as much as to defeat.

And so Kylo Ren and Rey circle each other, lightsabers drawn. Hers buzzes near her ear as she raises it. His is thrust out as it usually is, crackling with the force of his sheer will. It _must_ be his will that holds it together. She remembers when it flew into her hands before he killed Snoke, remembers feeling how it felt just a hair's breadth away from exploding in her hand. She wonders often if it feels that way in his and acknowledges it probably does. It seems to be a reflection of his personality and she tries not to think of just how heartbreaking that is.

Their fight this time is mercifully short. And most of it is in their heads. They only clash once. The rest of the time they stand with weapons drawn.

 _You can't have this as a base…_

I don't want it for that.

 _Then why?_

You know why…

 _Kylo, I don't..._

You used to call me Ben.

 _That was before you became_ this. _Whatever_ this _is exactly!_

Come with me.

 _You know I can't_.

The last is projected at him with a sad shake of her head. He nods at her and lowers his weapon. And just like that, it's over. The First Order withdraws and the Resistance cheers and Rey just feels wrung out like an old dish rag.

* * *

It goes on like that. For way too long. The First Order and the Resistance clash. The Supreme Leader is usually right there in the middle of it all, fighting with Rey. Or at least, it looks like he is. They carry on with their duels, but it almost looks more like sparring. There seems to be no intent behind it and Rey knows…she _knows_ …that everyone questions it.

They don't understand.

She hasn't told anyone of the bond. Of his showing up in her quarters late at night. Of their arguments and their discussions and how, sometimes, he reaches out for her and she reaches back and they touch across the space that separates them.

Sometimes there's no First Order and there's no Resistance. There's just _them_.

She wishes it could always be like that. More and more. She thinks what might happen if she just left. If he just left.

But they can't.

They're locked into their own worlds.

And she knows it can only go one way. One of them will die. The other will live, victorious. And therein lies her dilemma. She doesn't want The First Order to win. But she doesn't want him to die. She doesn't think she _ever_ did. Not even when she first faced him on Starkiller. And certainly not now, when she knows his heart and mind far better than she sometimes thinks she even knows her own.

She needs another way. Surely there must be.

* * *

The Resistance grows strong. Leia has connections and they finally come through, offering both manpower and ships. From only a handful with one ship they grow to a few hundred and then a few thousand.

Rey is at the head of the charge. She must be. There are only two Force users involved in these battles now that Snoke is gone, taking whatever secrets he might have had to his grave.

"This is it," Leia says at one of the Resistance meetings. "This has to be."

The First Order is making its stand on a planet in the Outer Rim. They've chased them down to there, rooted them out of the Core planets they've attempted to take over. Coups against those they've tried to put in power have been successful. Spies have infiltrated their ships.

"We're putting every bit of manpower out there for this one, General," Poe says and he sounds serious. He's grown in the past months, Rey realizes. He's taken on the mantle of responsibility and it seems to suit him well. Finn and Rose are at his side. Resolute. Supportive. They'll do their part to bring the First Order to its knees.

Hux is giving no quarter and she knows he's preparing to obliterate them. They've all seen the speeches. Hux loves to make speeches. Kylo Ren tends to stand nearby, a sort of black specter haunting the stage of Hux's grandeur. Rey can see from the set of his shoulders that he's not all _there_ , not all on board.

"What of Kylo Ren?" Finn asks and only glances at Rey before looking back at Leia.

Everyone remains silent for a moment.

"I can handle him." She pauses. "I don't think he's totally on board with what the First Order is doing."

The room explodes and she'd almost _laugh_ if they weren't so serious. It takes Leia stepping forward and raising hand to stop it all. Sometimes it amazes her how much respect she commands. She's a tiny thing, certainly much shorter than Rey. Her son must _tower_ over her.

When the room falls silent again, Leia looks to her.

Rey squirms a little bit.

"How do you know this?" Leia asks and it's not the general speaking at that moment. It's Ben's mother. There's some bit of hope there, always, that he'll come back. Even after Han, even after Luke.

Everyone is watching her and she finally grasps onto the one thing she can think of. "You've seen the holovids of Hux's speeches. Does Kylo Ren _look_ sure of it?"

Leia stares at her for a moment longer, but everyone else seems to accept her answer.

Well, everyone but Rose, who watches her with a too-knowing gaze. There's something almost uncanny about the technician. She seems to read people as if _she_ were the one with the Force and the ability to reach into minds. She knows she's not Force-sensitive though. She's sure she'd know. But still, Rose gives her that _look_ and Rey has to turn away to hide the blush she can feel creeping up her cheeks.

* * *

The final stand is chaos. Of course it is. But at least it's clear who is on which side. The Stormtroopers race in and Rey watches as Finn hesitates for a moment before raising his blaster. These could have been his friends, she realizes. But after that, she notices little other than the whir of her lightsaber and the blasts flying around her.

And then there's _him_.

He strides out into the middle of it, crackling red lightsaber raised. He fends off the blaster attacks with an ease she's admittedly impressed with. Anticipating each one as it nears him and diverting them with a swing of his saber. It _should_ look graceless, but watching him, there's a certain beauty to the motions.

His left hand comes up occasionally and tosses the blaster bolts back the way they came.

But she notices they never hit anyone, exploding off in the air, hitting the walls of the hangar they're in. His face is the mask he wears now, almost blank as he moves among them.

His eyes are on her.

Of course they are.

She flings the blaster bolts back and they _don't_ miss their mark. She's doesn't like killing but these people _will_ kill her friends, the family she's come to know.

"You still haven't learned to just _feel_ ," he says as he rounds on her. "You'll get hurt that way." He points that out as if they're just sitting down to a cup of caf and breakfast.

She ignores the comment and thrusts her saber toward him. He parries, ducking around behind her as he does so.

She's whipping around to see where he's gone when one of his arms snakes out and pulls her in close. There's no fighting at these close quarters. And she doesn't _want_ to, pressed up against him. In the middle of so much chaos, surely no one is paying attention.

"Close your eyes," he says and that _voice_ is coming from far too close. She shivers.

"No," she starts to say.

He spins her out and away from him and shouts. "Close your eyes!"

"You're not my teacher!" she shouts back.

And then it's game on. She won't listen to him, he won't listen to her. It's the story that builds their lives around each other. They fight then, lightsabers clashing together. He thrusts, she parries. She thrusts, he parries.

He's learning her style, she realizes, as he spins around behind her. It catches her off guard. She didn't think he could be that graceful, but as he whirls around, he _is_. And it's beautiful, she realizes. Almost a dance, he moves swiftly and surely, not a movement wasted. But he never _ever_ strikes to kill. He has openings. He must. She's not as skilled as him, though she is fast and nimble and reaches deep inside her to that part that is _him_ to push her skills further than she could alone. But still he has so much more experience and yet he waits for her, patiently.

As if it's a game.

They move around each other again. He twirls his lightsaber, almost lazily. She runs at him, knowing she won't strike him down either if given a chance. She hasn't before, though she's had the opportunities. But something about him has always called to her and she simply _can't_.

The floor goes out from under her. She's not even sure what happens. One moment she is focused on Kylo Ren and the next she's falling to her knees, her lightsaber skidding across the ground and away from her. She turns, heart plummeting as she spies the red-haired general standing over her.

 _Hux_.

"Oops." His lip curls up on one side in a mockery of a smile. He raises his blaster and aims for her. "Well, when the opportunity strikes…"

It all happens faster than she could have imagined in that moment. She shoves herself to her feet at the same moment her hand extends for her lightsaber. It comes flying back to her and she ignites it as soon as it lands in her hand. With a vicious scream, she raises it high. She will not fall to this bastard. She will not let him cut her down, cut down the hope she knows she brings to the Resistance, with a careful shot from his blaster. He is _dead_. And she swings the saber at him. She'll cut him down, turn him into nothing…

And then something hits her. Hard. She's twisted away from Hux, letting out a small yelp of pain as she hits the ground. Her lightsaber falls to her side and she looks up to find Kylo Ren standing over her, _in front of her_. He's facing Hux and his lightsaber is now the one pointed at him, at the heart she's not sure the general actually has.

Hux doesn't move except to release the blaster and let it fall to the ground.

Rey is on her feet mere seconds later, her hand resting on Kylo's tense shoulder. He's turned on Hux. _Oh Force_ , he's turned on Hux and the Stormtroopers have all stopped to watch. Their Supreme Leader stopped their general from killing the hope of the Resistance and he's outed himself. He's a _traitor_. Like Finn. Only worse because he's their leader. "Why did you stop me?" she hisses at him.

This isn't how it was supposed to go.

He was supposed to _kill her_. Not protect her. And yet…

He keeps his lightsaber trained on Hux, his eyes flashing briefly to meet hers. "I _saved_ you."

"Saved…"

"The light. I saved the light in you. You were reaching too far…"

"Into the dark," she murmurs. She could feel it now, arcing across her skin, the last vestiges of that anger and hate slowly dissipating.

"Yes."

They stay silent for a moment while Hux watches them with narrow eyes. And then… "We surrender!" Kylo shouts.

"We certainly do _not_ ," Hux responds with.

"It's over, Hux," Kylo Ren says. "All of this. It's over."

Poe and Finn move to take Hux into custody. The Stormtroopers watch and she can see the wary set to their shoulders, even beneath the uniforms.

Someone attempts to take Kylo Ren into custody too and suddenly he and Rey are whirling as one, back to back, to face anyone who might attempt such a thing. The Resistance members back off when faced with their lightsabers, the sort of mirror they make.

They speak at the same time

"No one takes him."

"I defect."

And she feels happy, proud. The Resistance gives them room as they move out of the hangar. She knows he's going to have to face them, face his part in all of this. Face his _mother_. But for now _he_ put an end to it, _he_ saved her, and perhaps, for at least a little while, that will be enough.


End file.
